The Beggar Wears Bata
January 19, 2008
On reference to Kakashin’s experience with deceitful beggars, I had a similar story to share except that the one I encountered is a little aggressive in his pursuit. So why do I tag this vermin as aggressive? Well that’s because his modus operandi is on door-to-door basis, almost like any other annoying salesmen that enjoy humping on your door gate, giving me the impression that he must be a great fan of Black Eyed Peas.
It’s just sad that he chose to hump at the wrong object. Here’s what happened. I was watching the idiot box (yes it’s tv) at my friend’s apartment. Nobody was around; every one went back to their respective hometown. During the commercial break, I got up from my seat and I walked to the entrance gate to get some fresh Indonesian fart. As soon I stood in front of the gate, one ah beng looking man (probably in his late 20s) with bandages wrapped all over his leg suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
It shocked me a bit. Man, that fucker walked like a ninja, without any noise.Then he tried to walk around in order to show me he’s tempang. He was wearing a pair of colorful Bata slippers (maklum lah citarasa seorang chao ah beng). Then he stared at me in an awkward manner as if I’m God of Prosperity. Before he could say anything, the first thing that came out from my mouth is “Shoo, go away, no prosperity burger for you” because his body language is telling me he’s a con artist. He’s not the only beggar that ends up humping my door gate, so I can tell if he’s for real. However, he’s the first ah beng beggar I’ve encountered, which is totally unconvincing that made me snub him in the first place.
Then he responded in flawless English, “Aiyo kow tow kay, me no want prosthetic burger. Me want donation nia. You see hor, me just recharge from hospital. Tiang bang me, me bang with accident lor. Pai kah (crippled in hokkien) ledi. Very cham oh. Can you gip me 10 linggit so me can fry back (wow fly with 10 bucks, AirAsia got discount ah?) to my kampung onot? Help lah penyu!”, while lifting his “injured” leg and kept pointing at his bandages as if I’m blind. I didn’t really looked at the bandages though, because the sight of his Bata slippers is really hideous.
When I mentioned hideous, I do not mean it’s torn or dirty. It’s new by the way. So I ignored him. He was pretty persistent; he stood on my door gate for around 10 minutes, hoping that I will spare him some moolah, but I didn’t. So he finally left. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic of his predicament; it’s just that I don’t help deceitful beggars by giving handouts. I gave them some money to buy some food before and they repay me by buying themselves a box of vitamin C (cigarette) instead.
From there onwards, I normally help the needy ones through proper channels. No, not the rampant charity practices that forces you to buy their products. I only support the certified charity body or charity work organized by NGOs that receives any method of assistance, be it monetary or spiritually. Okay let’s get back to this beggar story to have an understanding on why I called him a con man. On the following day after he begged at my house, I was eating in a Kopitiam somewhere at Jalan Bendahara, Malacca. Guess what? I saw the very same beggar. But there was no bandages wrapped on his leg this time and I certainly did not see any injuries on him either.
He was walking pretty fast for some one who’s supposedly crippled from his leg injuries or some one might ‘healed’ him in 1 day with 10 bucks. And yes, he was wearing the same Bata slippers. He walked right into the kopitiam where I was eating. Then he looked at me and he dengan slumbernya pretended he doesn’t recognize me or he probably can’t remember who I was after he went to many houses. It suddenly struck me that this man might not be a beggar, he could be a burglar. Who knows if he is actually scouting around my neighborhood looking for a pot of gold?
Technorati Tags: filler post, malacca, deceitful beggars, con artists, ah beng, yingrish
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