People thinks I look like Andy Lau.

Then I became puzzled so I responded.

Oh great, at least you can receive autographs on his behalf.

But I am not happy people thinks I look like Andy Lau.

Why not? Isn’t great when you can con few chicks with your celebrity looks?

Nah, it is not great. It is actually a curse.

Why so?

I don’t like his nose, it is too big for my liking.

But errrrr isn’t that Jackie Chan? His nose is way much larger than Andy.

Jackie, Andy they are all the same.

Same? I thought there is a distinct difference between them.

Apart from that, they are short too.

Short? Well, you are not that tall yourself.

Well that’s true but if I want to impersonate some one, I should choose a better candidate.

Hmmmm, suits yourself.

Let me see, I would be thankful if people thinks I look like Leon Lai.

As long you are happy, be any one you want.

But I’ll be happier if I look like Leon Lai.

Well, looking like him is one thing but singing like him is another matter.

It doesn’t matter. Good looks outweights the singing skills. As long I am good looking like Leon, anything goes.

Hmmmm…..

Yeah seriously, look at Mawi.

But ermm …… he is not good looking.

He may not look good looking to you but to the girls, he is the Shah Rukh Khan of South East Asia.

Please tell me you are trying to pull my leg.

No, I’m not. I’m serious. Even if you are not good looking, just make sure you look like a humble kampung boy. You’ll get the sympathy votes and you’ll still win and become popular.

What happened to being good looking?

Being good looking is an huge boost to my entertainment career.

But I thought you said you can compensate the lack of looks by resembling a kampung boy?

Did I? Did I say that?

From this point onwards, I told him I gotta make a move. There is no point in continuing this pointless conversation.

Linkin Park - Pushing Me Away

I’ve lied to you

The same way that I always do

This is the last smile

That I’ll fake for the sake of being with you 


Everything falls apart

even the people who never frown

eventually break down

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

Everything has to end

you’ll soon find we’re out of time

to watch it all unwind

The sacrifice is never knowing


Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away


I’ve tried like you

To do everything you wanted too

This is the last time

I’ll take the blame for the sake of being with you


Everything falls apart

even the people who never frown

eventually break down

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

Everything has to end

you’ll soon find we’re out of time

to watch it all unwind

The sacrifice is never knowing


Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away


We’re all out of time

This is how we find how it all unwinds

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

We’re all out of time

This is how we find how it all unwinds

The sacrifice is never knowing


Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Pushes me away…

The MUST HAVE requirement does not stop there because he needs to be at least as rich as Lim Goh Tong, must be as tall as Yao Ming, must not be skinnier than her, he must not be fairer than her, he must be tanned (apparently being fair is not a good thing in Malaysia unless the girl you are aftering is a Hallyu fan and you better make sure you look like Bae Yong Jun) and he must also posses a pure heart like Jesus.

Oh by the way she is still wondering why she is still single in her early 30s and complains that good guys are taken. If they are not they are mostly gay or workaholic. No matter how ‘realistic’ her requirements may sound, we guys are equally guilty at the same time. Most Guys (but not ALL) dreamt of getting a C cupper with a hourglass figure girlfriend whom they can bonk every 24/7.

But that’s not it. A detailed description would be precisely this. First of all she must possessed the look of Jessica Alba (soon a datuk), she must also have natural or not so natural tits of Pamela Anderson. At the same time the lips of Angelina Jolie is also a MUST HAVE because kissing is vital in foreplay. She must also be kind like Mother Teresa (by no means i am not advocating the act of bonking a nun) and most importantly of all, she must not be materialistic.

Although most of the qualities can be easily obtained (if you have the money you can get yourself a hot FL, CKT, PRC, NL to bonk) except being kind and not materialistic, it is not easy to get every quality in one package. Women from the 40s to 50s should have such qualities but then I am sad to say those who yearn for such qualities in women are obviously born in the wrong era.

Once I again I have to stress not EVERY guys are like that but MOST are (i am getting tired of this NOT EVERY BUT MOST bullshit) so I’d say we are living in a balance world. Everything complement to each other, if there are silly girls who are having hard time getting their silly requirements fulfilled, there are guys also who secretly dream of getting a sizzling hot girl with the demeanor of Mother Teresa as their girl fiend.

I dunno lah. Maybe I was too oblivious. It could be there for a long time already. I’ve seen others like ‘masalah pancut awal’ but this one made me laughed real hard. What it says is true. You shouldn’t keep all the fun to yourself. After all, making love should be mutual. Not the other way round or syok sendiri. So please, don’t be selfish. Pancutkan your isteri as well and you’ll have a long lasting marriage. You are doing yourself a great favour.

Honesty is certainly not the best policy during wedding night but at the same time they take your cliched compliments with a bucket grain of salt. Try saying you look skinny, ugly or fat and you will find your name being engraved eternally on their shitlist hall of fame.

Hence it is pretty hard for people to take you seriously sometimes although you mean it. In my case, I really meant what I say. No, I did not kutuk my friend by the way because she is truly gorgeous on that night although she was quite insecure of herself of being the forbidden F word for women (once again the F word does not end with the letter K, so please do not get the wrong idea) or to put it mildly, horizontally challenged.

Dear friend, if you are reading this, trust me, I meant what I said, You are truly gorgeous on that night and no, I was not being sarcastic