Dear Jonathan,
I am terribly sorry for not writing to you for so long. Yes, I am aware that I have not sent a letter since 1 and a half year ago but honestly I did write to you in this period. The reason these letters did not arrive in your mailbox is because I decided most of the stuffs I wrote should be kept under my draft column. Anyway, how are you doing up there?
Mum told me she had a dream of you enjoying yourself in your new home. Well I supposed it is not really that new to you anymore because you have already settled there permanently for almost two years. By that I am not referring to your tombstone in Melaka. Because all is left in that grave is not you anymore so sometimes I cannot comprehend why certain people need to talk a tomb stone when the real person had already left this world long time ago?
Well, whatever makes them happy. Anyway I digress. Mum said you were having fun up there. I guess you are indeed happy and having fun up there because I dreamt about you smiling at me last week.
You said something to me but as usual my puny little brain could not grasp what you were trying to say right after I went back to reality but at least I remember you smiling, which is a good thing because I hardly see you smile in the final 2 years before you left for good. Okay, you did smile but it wasn’t a convincing one. At least the one that I saw in my dream was really convincing.
Things on earth are okay for us. There are ups and downs but we will manage. Oh yes, let me tell you something really funny. Last week I saw your old classmates from your primary school. What is so funny about that, you wonder? Well the funny part is, they mistook me as you. They actually called me Jonathan.
I may suck at remembering long winded Chinese names, but I am really good at facial recognition so I kinda remember they were your primary school classmates. Anyway, they mistook me as you and they went on like “Hey Jonathan! Long time no see. What are you doing now?”. As usual I had to tell them I am not Jonathan, I am his older brother and it was really painful I had to tell them you are no longer here but these are some of the jobs that needed to be done.
You need not worry. At least I didn’t tell them bluntly that you were dead and I am your clone. They were shocked and they apologized for not knowing as usual. But you know what’s even funny? Few days ago I saw an old friend named Jonathan at church. Then when Jeffrey (my friend in case you forgotten) came to fetch me, I told him I saw Jonathan. He got freaked out for a moment thinking that I saw you in church. He asked me again:-
“You saw…….. Jonathan?”
Then I said “Yes I did saw Jonathan, but I am not referring to my late brother. I am talking about our old friend lah”.
He burst into laughter and replies
“Aiyo say earlier lah. I thought you saw your brother at church”.
I also laugh lah as usual. I told him:-
“Apa lah you, how I wish it was my brother Jonathan I saw at church”.
So funny right? I also don’t know where he got that idea it was you I saw. At least he still remembers you, albeit not in a spiritual way. Most of us still remember you down here although Mum said you have probably forgotten the memories of your mortal life but she said not to worry because you will have that the kind of instinct that we are family when we meet again up there.
And lastly, if you want to know how your girlfriend is doing, she is doing fine here. Your younger brother asked her on the other day whether she already has a boyfriend but she said no because she told him that she couldn’t find some one as good as you. While I am glad that she still remembers you but at the same time I hope she will be able to find closure at your sudden departure.
Well not like I have find closure with your demise, but there is still a long journey in her life so I hope she will find some one she deserves in the future. Well that’s all for now. I shall write to you again in the future but remember to visit me in my dreams again often, okay?
