Hmmm the more I think, the more I realized I really enjoy my student days in my primary school. Apart from the awesome multiracial environment my school had successfully instilled in every one of us, I really missed my canteen food. It is nothing fancy or expensive but who says both of these qualities make good food?

The food was mostly spicy and I did not acquire a taste for hot burning food until I totally adapted my taste buds after 1 year of schooling. I never liked spicy food before I was enrolled into the primary school. I can’t even tolerate a single slice of cut chilies but for some reasons, I managed to pull it through in the end. I will never forget the Sambal bread I used to buy from the canteen. In those days, bread was really cheap and Roti Sambal only cost me 20 cents per bun.

It was pretty large for a kid and the fragrance from the sambal is seriously irresistible. The moment you place that bread in your eternal tunnel, it just melts together with the hot sensation emitted from the hidden potential of the burning sambal. I don’t think I can taste it again because the makcik who sold the bread has retired and she was already very old at that time. I last ate the bread 16 years ago when I turned 12.

Observing people can be quite amusing at times. President is right. I seem to notice a lot of amusing things in restaurants or food court. Like this incident in one restaurant I often patronized. There were two guys sitting in front of me who was pretty oblivious with the constant sms beeping of their handphones.

When I mentioned constant I really mean constant. It beeps like every 5 seconds or so. None of them seem to be bothered with it but I can see few people sitting near to their table were pretty agitated with the constant beeping. Sometimes you might think the phones are cussing at them.

You know, like the good old american idol where they always use *beep* everytime some one uses the F or the A word on national TV. To make matters worst their phones were set on the highest volume and it was placed on their table. Every time it beeps, I can see few people turning their attention towards the noisy table.

It went on for like 1 hour. Too bad the chef was really slow. The beep was freaking irritating. If our country do not have gun control law, I think several disgruntled people might ‘fire in their hole’ already.

Barbecued snakes and birdThey set a trap to one side of the courtyard where they were allowed to exercise, and made a barbecue of the animals over a crude fire.- Malaysiakini

It is high time that Kamunting’s Internal Security Act restaurant should promote its exotic delicacies to potential tourists who will be made to visit this tourist spot against their will. Machap is not the only place that is popular for its exotic food. If Kamunting’s potential is handled properly, it can easily replace Machap’s glaring reputation as one of the famous exotic food joints in Malaysia. Dining in Machap is boring because it is not adventurous at all.

All you need to do is to drive and place your ass in that restaurant while waiting for your food. Kamunting on the other hand offers challenging tasks for its patrons and visitors because you need to hunt food on your own. It will become a pain in the ass for those who are too spoiled with shark fin’s soup but at the same time it will be really interesting for those who are seeking a similar Survivor experience with the exception that you don’t actually win 1 million dollah.

It becomes tricky when there aren’t any cameras around but who cares? It is the survival of the fittest without having irritating cameramen tailing you most of your incarceration time. Some one actually says prisoners should not expect to be fed with 5 star hotel meal every day and he is indirectly saying it is ok to feed ISA detainees with snakes and rats when food ration is running low. Heck even hardcore criminals in normal prison gets better food than ISA detainees.

This guy should become the captain of Kamunting ISA restaurant one day. What are you waiting for Kamunting? This is your best opportunity to promote your existing services worldwide. Should they apply for Unesco World Heritage recognition too since they are actually more than 48 years old?

I initially wanted to makan the claypot asam pedas at Pasar Borong Taman Merdeka, but sadly it wasn’t open for business. So my family and I had to settle for this ducky restaurant located in between the cross junction of Bachang and Taman Merdeka.

It has been quite awhile I ate here since my brother was first diagnosed with cancer. Whoa, 7 years had passed in a breeze.

We ordered the same stuff we used to savor and this roast pork looks really yummy at first glance.

Well, we were wrong. Horribly wrong, not only the food does not taste like it used to, it is incredibly salty.

It felt like I just swallowed one whole bag of salt into my throat and I might as well rinse my food with sea water.

Don’t be deceived with its looks because it certainly took me lots of effort to tear this meat with my razor sharp teeth. I shudder to think if it was my grandfather who chew on this, his prosthetic teeth will probably find a permanent home in this duck meat. One more thing that pisses me off is the attitude of their waiters in general. Not only they are rude, it annoys me when they kept making all kinds of sour faces.

It makes me wonder whether these people were baptized in a pool of lemon juice. I certainly do not understand why people kept flocking into this restaurant either. One thing for sure, I am pretty certain that I will not return nor I’ll recommend this restaurant to any of my friends from outstation.

We Chinese are really great at thinking ways to earn more moolah. Whoever says we don’t think out of the box deserves one tight slap on their sorry face.

With divine protector like this, you will never have to worry about going broke. EVER.

Well you can say that this is more of a superstition combines with unique creativity. So far I haven’t seen something like this or maybe i am just acting like a jakun. I only noticed it when my brother told me. Why I said it’s a creative way of earning more money?

This particular restaurant in Malacca is always packed with customers. But they are smart by using the 1 ringgit note. If they use any thing that is bigger than the RM1 note, the money plate will miraculously disappear by tomorrow. I’ve been patronizing this restaurant for a very long time already and it took me this long to notice it.

Money may not grown on trees like what you like to believe but they are certainly ‘growing’ on the wall ‘exponentially’. Well the feng shui mania does not stop here because I heard of a rumour that another restaurant is using panties to attract dozens of customers. It is weird because this restaurant extremely popular but at the same time they serve authentic grade ‘A’ shitty food and yet we insulted the Singaporeans for their acquired taste in food.

I am going to attend a typical 9 intercourse chinese dinner.

Haven’t been attending one for a while now.

But I hope there won’t be any karaoke sessions in between because I think it seriously kills the dining mood.

Apart from the excruciating karaoke session, everything is fine I guess.

But I can’t complain much since I won’t be paying a single cent for this dinner anyway so it is best to STFU and enjoy the oriental cuisine.

I feel so ‘handsome’ after paying RM 47.70 for this.

Heh, didn’t know my makeover cost less than 50 ringgit. They must have thought my face do not need an entire overhaul like Wacko Jacko did. Anyway I am not endorsing pirated Nip/Tuck today. Had a great meal at this Handsome restaurant.

At least they tried their best to make me look handsomer than I should. I won’t blame them if they failed because my face is way beyond repair. Speaking about food, I had an awesome talapia fish. It’s been awhile since I last had a very fresh and juicy talapia fish like this. Talapia is my least favorite fish to be honest because of its ‘muddy’ scent.

But this restaurant did a great job in minimizing the smell and they manage to maintain its freshness. Not many restaurants in Malacca manage to cook it the way I like. Why do I even bother of eating them if I don’t like it? Well, my folks love talapia and I felt better by treating them something they enjoy rather than what I like.

The fish I had is pretty large by its standard and it only cost 20 bucks. I think it weighs 1 kg and above. Some places even chopped my head by charging me double the price for a substandard fish. Sorry no photos though. I was too busy enjoying my food till I totally forgotten I was suppose to ask that mutilated fish to pose for me!

Updated:- Had another round of talapia so here’s the picture.

Although this fish is not as big as the one I had earlier but it’s still good and fresh.

Technorati Tags: food, more food, talapia, fish, chinese food, restaurant, handsome

Note:- Before I start this entry, I would like to pay homage to the person who invented this “food porn” term.

I have not makan (eat) crab in the longest the time. The last time I ever had one was last year, with my brother when he was still alive. So I head to the nearest joint to crap salivate and savor over the 8 legged creatures.

Since my ass is too heavy, I was quite reluctant to travel over to the restaurant that serves Sri Lankan crab located opposite of Hotel Orchid and City Bayview. But that restaurant is overrated and freaking expensive so getting normal crabs would suffice anyway.

I am blessed for staying in this area because getting Satay Celup, Dim Sum, Taiwan noodles, Nasi Lemak is only walking distance from my place. Yeap, I can walk to the Satay Celup joint anytime I want. Heck, I can even walk to this restaurant. But since this is a family outing, I drove there instead.

Bukit Yangzhou

The meal was kick start with a large plae of Yangzhou fried rice. Not too bad for a plate of fried rice that cost only RM 5.

Poor crabs has to end up in our intestines tonight.

The crab is usually cooked with tomato gravy or peppered style in this restaurant. But I saw some one requested for their crabs to be steam. I was curious how it might taste like so I decided to order the steam version instead.

Here comes our main sacrificial dinner. Taste wise, it was quite good but I conclude that I still enjoy the tomato gravy one better. At least can finger licking good. There is a drawback with this style though. The telur ketam (crab was not cooked properly so it tasted quite awful in that part.

It almost felt like eating shit. Minus the part where I didn’t take part in fear factor. Since it was found in the crab’s anus (it looked like one), I decided to forgo the quest of putting the remaining eggs in my mouth and continue decapitating the other part of the Arthropod.

Despite the setbacks, the overall meal was good as you can see freshness of the crab from this photo below.

I was really touched that the cook himself sincerely assured me it is not crab shit that I had eaten. Not many can swallow their own shit. Since he personally came to me to clarify about the so called shit, I’ll take his word for it.

Not safe for muster baiting.

This restaurant is easy to find. Just head over to the Tengkera Police Station (but don’t enter the balai and ask them whether they serve ketam ok?), and it is some where opposite the road. It should be easy to find because there are not many restaurants around the roadside.

ps:- As you can see, I am attempting the unattemptable by stepping into Jason’s niche this time but of course I am going to fail miserably as I am no where as good as him in capturing the true essence of food eroticism.

Technorati Tags: crab, melaka, seafood, seafood cuisine, food, appetizing food

Yummeh Soup Lembu Tangkak. Reminds me why I love Malacca. Although it’s not originated from Malacca but this state has always been a hub for those who wish ply their trade on their food and special cuisine. It’s been awhile since I step my foot into that restaurant and I really love their chilli. I think Chili is the main ingredient that gives the Soup Lembu Tangkak more Ummphhh. Can’t say the same for Yong Peng fishball in Malacca though because that place is a total ripoff and it’s not nice AT ALL.

While Malacca is famous for their chicken balls, I never knew they were this creative.

It is more common to see shop names like Ah Seng Tua Liap, Ah Heng, Ah Kau, Ah Mau, Kai See Fatt, Kiu Kai Chicken Rice balls sdn bhd but to see Ee Ji Ban is something new to me. As usual I’m usually very oblivious to the surroundings until some one spotted this signboard for me. I’m very embarrased to admit I read it as “Ee Jee Bai” when I first saw it.

The owner is smart because he do not want to be accused by his fellow countrymen for selling his soul to the Japs so he did the unthinkable by changing Japanese romanized spelling to the more mandarin sounding one. To be honest i would prefer this spelling because if he were an English educated guy, he might rename it to Itchy Bun.

While his creativity is really itchy bun but I’m not too sure if the food is really as itchy bun as it claims though. Should try it out some day. That being said, my paternal grand mother’s chicken rice cuisine has always been the most ichiban to me.

Technorati Tags: ichiban chickens, malacca food, food, local cuisine, creative names