Ah I really love this song. It soothes my soul every time I listened to it although I am not a woman LOL. I don’t mind singing this song to my loved one some day because I know I can sing it with passion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeEFHJFUbEg

This song is more than 10 years old but to me it is timeless and it is going to be one of big classics in the future.

Accusations of Ultraman having a zipper on his back are pure propaganda from his nemesis who are out to discredit his godlike status.

If you want to destroy an entire city,you dont need to detonate a dirty bomb or summon Ultraman, You only need to send-in an enraged Jack Bauer

Malaysia actually has one Ultraman and his name is Dr M. He was damn ultra in 1969.

In short I love Ultraman.

Ultraman’s beeper is not actually a warning beeper for low battery, it’s a signal for Sure Victory.

Ultraman beeped because he was swearing at the monsters. Japs wanna keep Ultraman clean.

Ultraman is not dickless. His dick just remained the way it is when he becomes a giant.

Ultraman is probably a woman with one boob that camouflages itself as a beeper.

Ultraman’s time limit is mother nature’s way of keeping the earth in its own orbit.

I was shocked when I first heard the news that Yasmin Ahmad had died. I was constantly relieve after I learn that she’s still alive but she’s in coma. It has been a weird week that deaths are so common nowadays and they drop like flies whenever they suffered stroke or cardiac arrest.  I hope she’ll be fine, after all she represents the real 1Malaysia, unlike some of the dodgy slogans invented by their sucky PR managment. Get well soon Yasmin!

I am sure some of you had your own share of experience dealing with bodoh sombong type of people. I had mine several days ago. The story begins when I paid a visit to a nearby shopping complex to buy a PC game that I’ve been waiting for.

Upon reaching the shop, a fat looking shop assistant asked me what I wanted. Then he went on and told me new games do not released so soon and it usually takes 1 month to reach their shop.

I responded by saying it wasn’t my first time visiting that shop so I am very aware of the release pattern. In case you are wondering if he’s a newbie sales assistant, he’s not. He has been there for a long time. So I said the game should be released anytime soon. He asked me how do I know the release date and I told him I knew it from the internet.

Then he gave me the lansi look and ask me not to compare the release date from the internet. He was very adamant that he was right and I’m very wrong because he says I don’t work there, so of course he knows better than me. Pukimak betul. Then he asked me to come after a month or so. I was not satisfied with that kind of answer and I ignored him by returning to the shop again the next following day.

As expected, the game I wanted was already on the display shelve. Then I told the sales assistant “who says we need to wait a month for it? and I don’t even work here”. He apologized to me later on. Niamah, sometimes it felt like I am the one working there instead of him. If it wasn’t for his bodoh sombong attitude and treated me like a noob, I would have excuse his mistake because I know he has to deal with a lot of stocks every day.

Michael Jackson is dead. But you know what’s funny? I had the sudden urge of listening to some of his classic old songs few days ago and now he’s dead. I don’t know if it’s scary but I hope other celebrities will not drop dead after I happened to have a sudden urge of browsing through their older songs. Thanks Michael, I had fun growing up listening to your songs, not to mention my old video tapes of your MTVs that might have been infected with fungus right now.

I know this is kinda old but I like this song. I wanted to find it when I first heard it but at usual I had memory lapses so the song hunting did not materialized. I thought this singer is in her mid 20s but it turns out that she’s only in her early 20s. Her voice is quite mature for her age but it is a good thing for a singer to have. I mean, how many jazz artist can you see who happens to be a chinese? Her upbringing definitely played a role in this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXX5Jvk9paE

I recently came across a horror movie called ‘Congkak’ in the local theaters. Yes I am talking about the traditional game and I really missed playing it. From the movie poster alone, I can deduce that the movie is basically about a cursed congkak board that is out to terrorized any one who came close proximity to it.

So I can safely assume that there must be a big bad evil spirit hiding in the assholes of the traditional game. Since it is traditional then it must be cursed. To them every traditional stuffs are cursed anyway. If the producers are trying to bring back the glory of congkat it once had, I think it is a very bad idea of promoting the traditional game via a horror movie.

Let’s just imagine if kids happen to chance upon this movie, I don’t think they will ever have the courage to approach congkak ever again. The movie is rated (U) after all. I mean, this traditional is slowly disappearing from our nation’s heritage and we have a bunch of smart aleck trying to rebuilt the ailing game via horror movie. And don’t even compared it with The Ring because television set will have at least 20 years to live compare to the ailing congkak game.

Menopaused aunties Hamidah, The 25 million ringgit Frog, Datuk Rusnah Kassim and Datuk Siti Salmah Mat Jusak fantasizing over how they were allegedly ’sexually abused’ during the Perak State Assembly sitting on 7th of May 2009. But I was ‘reliably’ informed by an insider who recorded their conversation that took place behind the scene.

The Golden Girls.

25 Million Ringgit Frog Hee Hor:- I swear Thomas Su’s manhood was THIS big.

Datuk Rusnah Kassim:- I concur. 

25 Million Ringgit Frog Hee Hor:- If you see a snake, a frog and Hamidah, which would you hit first with a crow bar?

Datuk Siti Salmah:- Definitely not Thomas Su’s manhood. Size does matter. But if I am coerced to make a choice, I would choose to hit Hamidah anytime.

25 Million Ringgit Frog Hee Hor:- I was so perturbed by the size of Thomas Su’s manhood I had to protect myself with a pen drive against Tian Hoe’s advances in the sitting. 

The keyword is GLOAT. Ganesan Loves Orgasm And Threesome.

Snake Lover Hamidah:- It was the right thing to do although it is best to hit Thomas Su’s snake first.

25 Million Ringgit Frog Hee Hor:-  It was a nightmare I had to attack him with my pen drive. Errrr was it my keychain?

Datuk Rusnah Kassim:- Snakes are already the endangered species in Malaysia, what’s more with a human snake, right? 

Datuk Siti Salmah:- These snakes only appear when our modesty are violated so I am not surprised if they are on the verge of permanent extinction.

25 million ringgit frog Hee Hor:- True, just take a good look at yourself. 

Snake Lover Hamidah:- Heh, look who’s talking. 

25 million ringgit frog Hee Hor:- At least I have 25 million ringgit in my coffers. Toy boys in Singapore would die to molest me anytime. 

Sivakumar to Ganesan:- Aku Speaker! Engkau Microphone!

Datuk Rusnah Kassim:- Don’t think just because we are aunties we won’t be molested. Have you heard about the news where this 80 year old grandma was raped by a 25 year old stud? And we are merely in our mid 50s. 

Datuk Siti Salmah:- I heard he was drunk. 

25 million ringgit frog Hee Hor:- That’s why I was armed with my pen drive. It is better to be safe than sorry. They are spreading lies that I was using pepper spray. But I don’t care. I have 25 million ringgit. I can hire any professional graphic designer to photoshop their alleged pepper spray into a pen drive for me. 

Datuk Siti Salmah:- Didn’t you say you were protecting yourself with a pen drive? Why would want them to photoshop it back to a pen drive for you?

25 million ringgit frog Hee Hor:- I told you already. I was negatively portrayed. The damage is done, so I am exercising damage control. But it’s okay. I have 25 million ringgit.

Snake Lover Hamidah:- What’s with you and your 25 million ringgit? You think I don’t have 25 million ringgit, is it?

25 million ringgit frog Hee Hor:- Calm down. I know you have. Just humour me. After all I am too shaken by the sexual harrassment I only had a pen drive to defend myself.

Datuk Siti Salmah:- Spoken like a world class liar. She is not called the 25 million ringgit frog without a reason.

Datuk Rusnah Kassim:- 25 million ringgit to buy over the soul of an extremely thick faced woman is definitely a bargain. A woman with conscience is the last thing we need for this coup to work. That’s why Our revered Pinklips did not bother kidnapping the real speaker.

Snake Lover Hamidah:- But our men threw him out eventually, along with the chair from Ikea. Who cares what the constitution says? We have the majority. That’s all it matters. 

Datuk Siti Salmah:- I believe our most revered Pinklips made a very good move in securing her services. I see hope for 1Malaysia. 

Snake Lover Hamidah nods her head in agreement.

I think I have too much time in hand. I found this japanese real name generator from Slumber Raja’s blog and I was pretty skeptical if it really translates our name properly into the language of the land of the rising AV stars so I decided to play around with it.

The generator is very smart. At least it ask your gender before you can proceed. Since I chose dansei - guy, I put dickhead because only guys have dickhead.

and the result is……

Nakashima Kenta!

And of course the generator will never be complete without a female representation. So I chose cibai because only women has real cibai. Artificial cibais from fake women are not counted.

and the result is……. Saruwatari Michiko!!

If you are new parents who are going to name your children in japanese, avoid naming them Nakashima Kenta or Saruwatari Michiko ok? You do not want to associate your child with monkey on a crossing bridge who is healthy and plump or having to name them after genitalia.