I visited my grand uncle (I have lots of grand uncle) today. I am sad to know it’s hard for him to walk easily anymore. There is an inflammation on his right foot. He could barely stand, not to mention walking around. He has to depend on the walking aid so it aches my heart to see him in this condition.

Grand uncle is a great guy and he is one of my favorite uncle because he always pampered me with toys and candies when I was a kid. Of course I am too old to play with toys anymore as I have already graduated to play other kind of toys. Adult ones. Since he always pampered me with toys, so sometimes it sparks jealously between his sons lol (which is my uncle, he’s slightly older than me).

My grand uncle would often take us to the beach. My young uncles (his sons), my young aunts, my brother and I. The generation gap is so wide I end up growing up with my young uncles and aunties since most of them are either slighty older than me or slighty younger than me. There is this song we used to love singing until we reach the beach.

I finally remember the song and it’s Dolly Parton’s Working Nine To Five. This is what I will always remember when I see this grand uncle of mine. He is also responsible in contributing part of my happy childhood in the 80s. It’s amazing I can still actually remember my childhood days considering the fish memory I have. So I really hope my grand uncle will recover soon. This time, I hope I’ll be the one taking him to the beach.

Technorati Tags: uncle, family, inflammation, grand uncle, beach, family reunion, childhood memories

Today is my friend’s death anniversary. He committed suicide 2 years ago. He has a bright future and he’s perfectly healthy. He showed no signs of depression. But it was later revealed by his mum that he was suffering from severe depression. When I first heard of the unfortunate news, I was shocked.

Okay I am sure every one would get a shock when one of their mates died out of a sudden. It shocked me because I just saw him a day before he committed suicide. We went out for a drink with another group of friends of mine. But there was no sign of depression at all nor he acted funny. He hanged himself in his room. He was only discovered 2 days later by his parents.

Imagine the horror they had to face when they found their son dead hanging in the room. He left a note. He said his girlfriend left him for another guy. He was utterly devastated, so the next thing he did was to hang himself. But he is the not my only friend who died because of suicide. I have 5 other friends who committed suicide due to various reasons.

Some died because of lost love, some took their own lives because of pressure in studies, some died because they have lots of debts they could not settle. You name it. The location they chose was, well …. strategic. One chose to choke himself with carbon monoxide in front of a public university.

It was heavily publicized considering the news made its headline in The Star several years ago. As usual, I was shocked when I saw his picture in the newspaper. Headlines. Another committed suicide by jumping off a building and another jumped off into the sea.

My friend jumped off from this building. One of my hometown’s unsung landmarks.

It’s very hard for me to stomach because these are the people I know since elementary school. One part of me is sad that they are no longer around but another part of me is angry. While there are some people who wanted to live badly, there are others who are perfectly healthy but took their precious lives away just like that. Sigh…. how I wish there are such things like soul transplant.

Technorati Tags: suicide, friends, suicidal, depression, save our souls, killing fields

Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your spirit in doing something? I guess every one will go through this unproductive period where you don’t feel like doing anything but staring at the wall. I don’t feel like doing anything at the moment and I think I am pretty tired of the routine life I’m having now.

Maybe I should plan a vacation next year. I can’t do it next month because I think i am going to be broke on Christmas coupled with a trip to Singapore on the 15. Who knows I might spend heavily on the electronic gadgets I see in Sim Lim? Hehe. I think it’s time to bug my former ghey partner (self proclaimed only, not real one. Since we are always accused of being one during High School. He’s straight and I am also straight) who is currently residing in Lahad Datu.

Well I can’t just tell him I’ll be going to his house tomorrow. It’s not like he owns the company he’s working at and he cannot simply apply for holidays without any notice. Furthermore he’s already married with a kid. It’s going to be inconvenient for him should I ever appear in front of his doorstep out of a sudden. I might even get a head shot for being mistaken as a thief if I am attempting any surprise visit since his father in law owns a rifle. So it’s better to plan the trip properly ahead *shivers*

Dear Sabahans, is this place worth to visit?

I would like to make a visit to Danum Valley and some other interesting places in Sabah or any mountains, hills, orang utans (I mean real & genuine orang utans, not the other orang utan who appeared on TV last night) that are willing to pose reluctantly infront of my camera. Maybe going for a vacation should be able to recharge my batteries.

Technorati Tags: Sabah, traveling, singapore, Danum Valley, family, friends

Weee I have finally reach 50. Err no, I am not half century years old. What I mean was, I am finally 50 kg after being underweight for many years. I was 42 just a year ago. I think I am odd. While some people are trying hard to reduce their weight, I am celebrating my weight gaining milestone. I mean I ought to be happy when I look like this in the past:-

And I’ve succesfully turned myself into something like this.

Well, SORT OF. Although this picture does not look too flattering at all. Since this is a rare opportunity for me to post a picture in this blog, I might as well upload the ugliest mug shot of myself. That is me undergoing the process of metamorphosis. Anyway in the past, it was always annoying when I get snide remarks like “why are you dieting when you are so skinny”. Idiots like these thinks I am dieting just because my neck looks like a giraffe.

I am not anorexic at all. My friends and family knows I am big eater, but it’s weird I have not gotten any fatter after consuming a huge amount of food. Some one suggested Appeton weight gain. But I remember it is quite useless for me because all it does is to increase your appetite and I have no problem in maintaining my gluttonic lifestyle. So guys, treating me buffet meal is so going to worth your money.

I guess my metabolism rate is slowing down, hence the rapid weight gain I am experiencing in a year. Signs of aging, perhaps?

Technorati Tags: fat ass, diet, glutton, food, gaining weight, weight gain, appeton, metabolism

My uncle who is a gynecologist is retiring from his profession next month. So now why would I even blog about gynecologist? To tell you the truth, I think this guy witness our birth from most of the entire 4th generation in my family. He probably qualifies himself in the Malaysian Book of Records for helping the most mothers to give birth from his own family.

Rascals like us have lots to thank him for. Heck, even my god sister’s birth who has no blood relation with me was helped by my uncle. Malacca is truly a small town, some 30 years ago. Thanks to him, our birth was smooth, we arrived safely to this earth and lived up to this day. In a way I am relief our mums did not gave birth to us the Xbox way so I really have to thank my uncle for his expertise.

Thanks to him, we are able to enjoy the life in 80s. I am able to enjoy Voltron, I am able to enjoy Thundercats (which I always suspect is hentai in disguise), able to enjoy Silverhawks, able to enjoy M.A.S.K, able to enjoy Transformers, able to find my niche in pissing my teacher all over again, and many many more. Of course I am not going to dismiss the contributions made by our mothers but since I’m writing this entry for him so it’s going to be ‘All About My Uncle”.

It’s sad that I won’t be able to trouble my uncle with my future wife’s birth next time otherwise I think the legacy will probably be expanded to the 5th generation. Without his help, I am worried my future wife is going to shoot the baby out like a cannon from her vagina. Obviously I am just kidding with the cannon remark. Lastly, I would like to wish him all the best because he truly deserve his overdue retirement since he’s almost 70 years old. Thanks again uncle!

ps:- The number of ‘thanks’ i’ve said so far = 6 times

Technorati Tags: gynecologist, mothers, baby boom, baby, family, uncle, retirement

Women love jewelry although they do want to admit it. My mum is one of them. Since my mum’s birthday is around the corner, I think buying a set of jewelry would be ideal but she’ll probably scold me for wasting money. Having said that, I think deep in her heart she wants a new set of jewelry of her own. She deserves it because she have been taking care of us for a very long time and simply because she is my mum.

When I was still in primary school, I am pretty notorious in giving heart attacks to teachers even though they naturally do not have the disease. You see, I look like an innocent kid and so they will come all the way to pinch my face.

But no one would have thought beneath this cutie face, there was a monster hidden in his soul. OK I exaggerated a little but I am quite good at what I do as a kid, piss people off. I remember there was an obnoxious teacher, she is so full of herself and always boasted she was the first Master holder student.

As a kid, I don’t even give a fuck what a Master is. The only master I knew was Master Q. I am sure she was not referring to herself as the descendant of Master Q because she certainly do not look like one. She is a Chinese who taught Bahasa Malaysia.

There was once we were asked to write a karangan so I thought this is going to be my golden opportunity to show off with my literary work. This is what I wrote in my karangan paper:-

Pada suatu hari….

Tiba tiba….

Tamat….

This by far, is the best karangan I’ve ever written in my entire life. It is obviously short but it’s subtle and strong enough to convey my messages. Despite her academic prowess, she was not able to appreciate my work. Too bad because I expected some one like her to understand my karangan. As for my marks, I was rewarded with a gargantuan telur gajah for my masterpiece.

Technorati Tags: composition, school, dennis the menace, teacher, karangan, USPR, ujian paling senang rendah

I was cleaning my room earlier today. While in the process of cleaning 10 year worth of dirt, I accidentally found my antique autograph book. Damn kanasai, when people dig their century old closet, they tend to find treasure such as their unused condoms and KY jelly. I pulak found my stupid autograph book.

Okay it’s harsh to call it stupid since it fulfilled its role in becoming a time capsule for ten years and I gotta give credit where it’s due. Autograph used to be very popular around 10 to 15 years ago. Last time where got Friendster and Kawanaku?

I am not sure if people still uses autograph nowadays. Maybe those who are still in school can tell me. Yeah, I never touch my autograph again since I put it to rest in 1997. So you can imagine the amount of dust it consumed. I had to restore it back to its original state like I was excavating Santiago De Porta (aka A Farmosa) in my backyard.

Firstly, I do not know why on earth I chose a Bob dog themed autograph as my cover. Oh wait, now I remember. I did it because I wanted to impress my first crush (which I failed). Reading all the testimonials in my autograph reminds me of a friend who loves crying even at 17 years old.

And guess what? That person is a guy. So he was given Boy George - The crying Game or Don’t cry for me Argentina as his nickname because he just love crying. Too bad there’s not Crying Idol or else I would suggest him to try his luck for 30 nano seconds of fame.

One would wonder why he enjoys crying but the main reason he did it is because he wanted to bail himself out of trouble. Quite sissy I know but everything is in my personal history book now.

You can look at the color of the pictures to know how old it is. But I can’t believe I can actually maintain an autograph book. It was hard work. I had to literally bug every one I know to write.

Heh, for some odd reasons I actually miss Friendster. And no, the person above is not my dad.

This picture was taken when I was in Standard 3. That was like 18 years ago? The last I heard, some of the teachers in this picture are already dead. Pity, because they were like the most caring teachers back then. The one on the far left is more garang (fierce) than a tigress though. She’s my friend’s mother Hope he won’t read this blog or else he’s sooo going to skin me alive.

Those who misbehaved are canned, whipped, or slapped. Very caring indeed. If you don’t know them personally you would thought they have sadistic tendencies. Try doing that on the kids today, be prepared to receive a Death Note from the lawyer’s office by tomorrow.

Try spotting me. No prizes for those who manage to spot the microscopic me. It’s not too hard really. I am still recognizable even as a midget. Too bad I was too young to audition myself as Frodo. Errrr not this macro shot photo, it’s the other one above.

Ahh the last picture is a killer. Written by one of my best Malay pal. He’s currently an Ustaz. This dude is half Malay half Chinese. So that makes him very good looking. Sorry girls, he’s married and he is blessed with 3 wonderful kids. Gosh, he’s my age and he already have 3 kids. Me? All I have is a pair of tescticles. This bugger jokingly ask me to marry his sister lol.

Technorati Tags: bob dog, autograph, retrospect, vintage photos, school days

I kinda regret it because I didn’t take Chinese seriously when I had the chance to learn it part time when I was in Primary School. Oh I attended a pseudo-english school in name as a pretext to attract more non bumi students to enroll at that time. The school was formerly known as Tarzan Eats Satay (sorry I can’t reveal the real name but that’s the nickname for it in the 80s).

The official language was Malay with some English influence. But I am quite cool with it since I am now fluent in Malay and English (but still learning) at the same time. In terms of speaking sense, I am more fluent in BM as I do stutter occasionally when speaking English.

When they see me in person, I may look too “chinese” to speak Malay like a Malay. I often get weird stares from the chinese crowd when a bunch of us were cussing with the underrated BM or adopted Indon words such as “Butoh, Nonok Konek, Juboh, Lahanat, Malaun 7 (don’t ask me why there is a 7 in it), Lahabau dan lain lain” while our malay friends spar with us with the usual Chinese holy cussing.

It’s complicated but I think you get my drift. Nevertheless, I was glad I actually studied in the primary school I enrolled in. I think I’ve already mentioned why I love my primary more than my secondary school in one of my previous posts. I recalled the day where my parents almost enrolled me in a Chinese School. Let’s just say the school is aka the ‘kukujiao’ school due to its suggestive name.

Those who lived in Central Malacca would know why. It makes more sense for me to study there since that school was only few steps away from my house at that time. I can’t really remember why I end up studying at the ‘english’ school that was located further away from my home but things might be different today if I really did study in that kukujiao School. Not that my little pecker would grew even longer if I did study in that school but I would have understand more Chinese characters by then.

I can understand spoken Malaysian/Singaporean Mandarin well enough. However, if you give me another mandarin with strong mainland accent I’ll probably strangle that speaker in the process. My understanding of the characters are not enough to enable me to read written Chinese material. I can do lots of stuff if I know how to read Chinese.

• I can read how Tony Leung shagged Tang Wei in Lust, Caution (Yeah i know I can watch it in Uncle Ho’s DVD but its always nice to get extra info beforehand),
• I am able to enjoy cheaper Japanese mangas. Finding a BM translated manga is such a pain and you have to deal with the stupid censorships while buying the English version is akin to putting a Kryptonite in your wallet.
• I also get to enjoy my favorite Hong Kong comics like Pedang Setiawan(Storm Riders) and Dragon Tiger Dung.
• There are lots of stuffs to read from Chinese Papers. Hey, even though they are known for publishing petty issues such as my grandmother’s birthday (I’m serious!), reading them is whole lot better than reading bullshits from the propaganda publication like NST and The Star.

Technorati Tags: mandarin, english, education, chinese language, manga

I was sad to read when Lydia Shum collapse in her home due to pleural effusion. It was said the doctors feared that her death is near. Turns out that this news was not true and she was transfered to the Queen Mary Hospital after her surgery.

Among many Hong Kong actresses I know, she will always be the one I remember for her hilarious performance as the housewife who gambles in almost anything from lottery to mahjong in the classic hit movie It’s A Mad Mad World. I think I’ve re-watched the movie for more than 100 times because I never grew tired of watching it.

If she really goes away in this coming time, it is going to mark the end of the senior main casts who stars in the Mad Mad World movie. Bill Tung who played her husband in that movie passed away a year ago due to lung failure.

The movie depicts the lives of typical Hongkies who are obssesed with wealth and lottery gambling, in a hilarious way. I know every one has to die one day, but I am just sad to see something or events that is related to my childhood memories die one after another.

Technorati Tags: Lydia Shum, Bill Tung, Mad Mad World, Hong Kong cinema, comedy, Lottery