VMY 2012 is an abbreviation for Visit Malaysia Year 2012. It should not be mistaken as a vehicle plate number.

Why should you visit Malaysia? Because it’s a country full of suspense and drama. Even though our red dot lion neighbor down south has world class facilities but it’s still boring as it lacks the right quality to succeed in attracting long term tourists, pest, outcasts and hippies. Rocking the world of Malaysian tourism would concentrate on the 3 highly acclaimed attractions that any tourist should IMMEDIATELY try after dropping illegally in Malaysia. Remember, everything I promote here is one of the rare gems available in exotic Malaysia.

A Flooding adventure

Another super attraction of Malaysia. What is so super about it? Because the disaster seems to flood places that are not suppose to be flooded. If you are fond of kayaking, the strong current flood water would appeal you. Exciting isn’t it? It’s exciting because you will never know where the current will blow you away, making your journey a whole lot unpredictable. Let’s say if you wanted to visit Venice all along but low on budget, Malaysia will be your cheaper alternative. Why is that? That’s because Malaysia has a replica of Venice but it depends on the season and weather.

Venice in KL, a wonderful and romantic experience you will never forget.

Sometimes if the drainage is not well managed, you might see a mini Venice in any affected Malaysian cities or towns. Such scenery would be a mind blowing experience and it should look superb if you are into photography.

if you ever wanted to propose to your girlfriend, this is the best place to do so

It would be a bonus if you are a into scuba diving because you don’t get to see coral reeves but you get to see submerged vehicles! It’s very unique because you don’t get to see flash floods in self proclaim developed cities often.

Fragrant toilets

Seriously this is one of Malaysia’s hottest attraction to date. No other country in other parts in the world can rival Malaysia’s unique toilets. Firstly, we are more than willing to pay millions of ringgit to produce a slapstick advert to generate toilet awareness. It shows our authorities are extremely generous in giving their all to beautify toilets because they truly appreciate our Malaysian toilet heritage. You get to smell the aroma of Malaysian toilets even before paying 20 cents.

I can bet you will get more once you pay the 20 cents. For 20 cents per entry, it’s an all time bargain! This is where our national toilet makes artificial aroma therapy a myth or a total bullshit. Who needs to go for aroma therapy when we have natural aroma synthesizer in our very own public toilets? Natural resources mined from our Malaysian toilets can be used as fertilizers too. When it comes to multi tasking, our toilet is the bestest. No questions asked.

The Mat Rempit joyride

Tired of being a law abbiding citizen? Do not fear as we have the right package for you to experience a mat rempit’s way of life and culture. Rempit is loosely translated to ‘Ramp it’ in English because Mat Rempits usually either end up ramping people in the end or get ramped by drunkards. It’s either to ramp or to be ramped. Hence the term Rempit is derived from this phenomena. Being a mat rempit is very exciting. Especially for first timer.

Errrrr sorry wrong photo…

Mat Rempits are not scourge of the road. They should be awarded with the medal of honour for their heroism on the dangerous Malaysian road

Mat rempits are like the modern hybrid of samurais armed with pole instead of katana and wild wild east cowboys that rides on motorbike simply because they think riding the horse is uncool and outdated. Being cool is every thing to Rempits because it’s their LIFE. So what do they normally do as a mat rempit? Basically, mat rempit is a low end motor racer. What I mean by low end? Low end means you do not have to rent or buy big ass bikes. Smaller bikes like yamaha ss2, suzuki RG Sports or RGV would suffice. The motor engines are often modified into the magnitude of a space shuttle. Motor kapchai is acceptable if you are really really really really really really low on budget. So what are the excitements of being a rempit?

1. Being a rempits means you can die anytime you want by performing gravity defying stunts. If you think your motor kapchai is cheap, think again because your life is even cheaper.

2. Being a rempit also means you are eligible to throw stones at police stations. (It only applies when there are a large herd of rempits around you) Try stoning the police alone, the undertaker is going to be your best friend and you will land yourself on the maggots’ dinner plate by tomorrow.

3. Being a rempit is cool because you get to smash car windows of any assholes you hate. If you are lucky, you might get to rape some underage girls along your journey. If unlucky, you have to rape grandmothers and the cows instead. Play hard, die hard.

Experience the adrenaline rush now!

So what are you waiting for? Book your tickets with any low budget air tickets to Malaysia now! You can swim to Malaysia if you want.

A Famosa and Satay celup are not Malacca’s only attraction. Apparently Niagara Falls is also part of Malacca’s attraction. Since there are no efforts in covering the large sinkhole in Melaka Raya, I am assuming this is another bright idea from the CM of building another world attraction in our humble town of Malacca.

After all, we already have a superb artificial waterfall at the intersection of Bukit Beruang and Air Keroh, so having another Nature’s Wonder in Malacca came as a little surprise. The CM must really have our interest at heart when he builds that waterfall because he want us to enjoy the beauty of nature (though it is man made) while waiting at the traffic light.

I mean he does not need to wait for the traffic lights when he travels, he only need to rely on the cops to clear the road for him so deep inside he must have felt really guilty of our predicament.

It is the same with the artificial Niagara Falls in Melaka Raya. He makes sure we get to enjoy the sound of splashing water when we brave against the jam in the over commercialized area although there have been a series of unfortunate events such as cars falling into the hole thinking it is a straight road at night before a proper barrier was erected.

But these are isolated incidents; we need to sacrifice certain stuffs for the greater good of the historical state. I am looking forward to more of his “think out of the box” visions like establishing submarine connections to his mini Arab cities and linking St Paul’s Hill with Bukit Cina via cable cars.

I went to Changi airport on my last day in Singapore. I wanted to visit Lam Par Villa, Sentosa and Singapore Zoo but my uncle suggested we should go to Changi instead. I guess it’s cheaper and you don’t need admission fees to enter Changi. Although it’s not my ideal place to spend the last day of my vacation but it was a good experience for my dad because he hasn’t been to Changi for 20 years.

My dad used to drive up to Singapore to pick my grandmother up every time she returned from oversea. Granny used to work in Brunei and that was before Malaysian airports established direct international flying route to the land of Sultans. Driving up to Singapore from Malacca used to be a pain in the ass process long before the completion of the North-South highway. So it was a good experience for my dad to see Changi again.

We boarded a bus from Marine Parade and it took us less than 25 minutes to reach. The security in Changi is tight. Any vehicles need to pass through 2 levels of security scan just in case there is Osama or George Bush with facial makeovers hidding in the exhaust pipe. They had to be scanned at least twice before they can be allowed to enter the airport.

After going through the security check, we were dropped at the bus stops that are located at the basement.

Before we continue our journey, we need to do the usual stuff. It was time for us to find toilets to release excess baggages from the bladder. Toilets are free and clean. Not like the shitty Melaka Sentral that charges 20 sens for a cubicle decorated with a mountain of human droppings. No, I did not urinate in the pond although it’s tempting.

This place will lead you to a place where every one will cry and say bye bye at the same time. In a way, it can be termed as Terminal disease. A person who are allergic to airport terminals. Not life threatening diseases. If you are faint hearted, avoid sending off your loved ones at all cost.

You can play concrete golf here if you don’t mind getting run over by planes and if you can bypass the security guards of course.

I thought I read Skynet to Terminator 3. Fortunately there weren’t any terminators waiting for me on the other side.

Riding a skytrain is fun because it provided me some photo shooting opportunities.

The control tower looks like a pole wearing the Qing emperor’s head gear and it look pretty majestic from this angle.

Terminal 3 is very spacious but it wasn’t fully furnished by the time I arrived. No hot SIA stewardess to see here.

Standing here makes me feel tiny and short. This is the our last stop in Changi before we made our way to the MRT station.

Introducing Mata juling princess. I was stepping on her cleavage when I shot this picture. Hope I won’t be sued for indirectly violating her modesty although I highly doubt she dressed modestly. Poor girl, need to endure thousands of footsteps every day.

Made our last stop at Harbour Front. Snapped this nice picture of Sentosa Island from Vivocity. So near yet so far. This marks the end of my Singapore trip. Can’t believe it almost took me 1 month to finish the series. Hope you enjoyed yourself reading my posts as much as I was writting it.

Technorati Tags: lam par villa, changi, airports, Singapore, tourism

When the Wright brothers designed the first plane, nobody would have thought their creation had become one of the important form of transportation today. Now future commercial spacecrafts are modeled after planes. You can see how planes had evolved in the last 100 years. Now every average joes are using cars as their basic transportation needs.Who knows mini planes might replace that kind of transportation in the future?

Long before I came to Singapore, I always heard from my friends that Orchard Road is the best place to go during Christmas. I am not sure what they meant by best. But I do know it’s the best place to get yourself sprayed with artificial cum. No, you do not need to bent down in order to receive their protein by the way.

They will spray you with cans. I don’t know if they spray cars in Singapore. But in Malaysia, these bunch of assholes have no mercy for passing cars. Look, not every one is in the mood of spraying shit when they are stuck in traffic jam indirectly caused by you ok?

You are adding to their frustration if you think its fun to spray their cars. Well that’s in Malaysia. I am not too sure what they do in Singapore. But Orchard road is a nice to place to go. It is even nicer when you are armed with a truck load of cash because it’s the heaven of expensive shopping.

If you do not have much cash with you, you can always enjoy the lighting sceneries for Christmas. It’s free and it’s beautiful. Much to my awe because I hardly find any streets in Malaysia that is fully decorated for christmas alone.

I love what I see here and I don’t care if I am acting like a jakun. Hmmm other than lightings, you can see scores of chicks here. So it’s like shooting two big birds with one stone here.

So cruel, they ‘imprisoned’ a ballerina in a jar. What’s the number if I want to make a report against animal cruelty? Oops, ballerina is not an animal.

While I was walking up to this road, I bumped into an old Malay friend of mine. I haven’t seen him for the last 10 years after graduating from secondary school and now I bumped into him in Singapore. Damn coincident eh? Of all places, I saw him in Singapore. He told me he’s working as a chef. Good for him. Chatted a while before we went our separate ways.

I only thought this nation is republic. I didn’t know the food chain is republic too. Do they have the head chef as their President?

I saw this huge Christmas tree in takashimaya (was it takashimaya?) and I was really mesmerized by the sparkling balls. They are so colourful and they are so…… huge?

You don’t get to see many balls gathering and trees erected up to the ceiling every day at the same time.

There are large xmas trees every where and they come in various colors.

I practically caused human congestion by standing on this spot for 5 seconds. Luckily I did not die in the stampede.

So that concludes my trip at Orchard Road. Although it was brief but it’s fun to catch the beautiful and colorful decoration for the once in a year event. You probably won’t find a better day other than Christmas to pay a visit to Orchard because I am generally not interested in modern buildings, sky scrapers and yada yada.

Technorati Tags: Singapore, Christmas, Orchard Road, tourism, shopping, takashimaya

A trip to Singapore wouldn’t be perfect without going out for a stroll in the city. We took a bus to city (courtesy of my uncle’s ability to remember every bus numbers lol). Hmmm taking buses here is a joy to behold because the longest time I’ve waited for one to arrive took me only 15 minutes.

15 minutes arrival is the fastest time it takes Malaysian buses to reach the bus stop. Yea yea you can argue Singapore is a small island so it’s easier to run their public transportation efficiently. But Penang island also small what? How come the bus services very unreliable one? Anyway I did not say this, most of my penangite friends told me one.

It took us 20 minutes to reach this place (i think).

I can’t remember the name of this place. I think it’s Bugis Square or something. Can any Singaporean confirm this? Although it was still under working hour at the time I arrive, this place is jam packed with humans. They are most probably tourists unless the Singaporeans paid truant from work (ponteng kerja).

I am not sure if they built this mall with the existing pre-war houses or they built it from scratch. But I think it’s rather creative of them to fuse a block of pre-war houses together with the mall. Is that incense on the top right?

Uncle say this is Bugis road. Hmmmm weird, thought of seeing Bugis wares here but all i see is Chinese stuffs. It kinda look like the cleaner version of pasar malam. But nothing comes close with the real thing of course.

After battling my way through the sea of people in that small lane, I finally got some fresh air outside. I nearly choke. Not a good place for girls though. You won’t even know who pinch your butt in such places.

Spotted a nice temple. I wanted to explore this place but with my uncle walking like a speeding bullet, I don’t even have time to fart. Further more there is a religious fanatic within my group that kept saying “Idols! Idols!”. It’s not like I will be re-converted back to Taoisism if I step my foot in that temple. Sheesh, damn potong steam.

We made our way into another small lane. Hmm Singapore got lots of lanes. But most of the lanes are not dead, you can find eateries like this in such narrow places. Did they misspelled or something? I noticed Nyonya are spelled as Nonya here. Or maybe Nonya is referring to something else? Definitely not a distance cousin of nonok.

You can see malls every where. By this time I am already sick of it lol. I went to Sim Lim. Now that’s the kinda ‘mall’ I love and also my paradisa. I bought my Nintendo DS with a good price there.

The largest ejaculator in South East Asia? What ever the name is, it’s definitely doing all the good work in ejaculating on time.

Took this in one of the underground malls. Uncle says this underground mall works like a bunker, strong against earthquakes and bombardment. Don’t know true or not. Sounds pretty exaggerating to me though.

You need to look like this before you can use this toilet.

I actually wanted to snap the santarina behind him. But end up shooting Mr Santa himself instead. Sorry Santa, I am more interested in your assistant However this Santa is nice enough to take a photo with me.

This kid caught my attention. Not because he’s cute. But it’s the way he played this game. He was literally kicking that machine after he lost. I am more worried he’s going to shoot some one with his submachinegun if he ever loses a game in Counter Strike when he joins the National Service some day.

Technorati Tags: bugis road, malls, Singapore, stroll, christmas, santa claus, kids, games

Finally, we have reach the interesting part of the wedding dinner. FOOD. Talking about food is always interesting anyway. But I am not implying the food is so much worth telling than the wedding ceremony itself. If there is no wedding ceremony, there won’t be food. So these two things are interconnected, both are interesting in their own right.

Looking at the lineup of what we are going to eat for the evening at the menu alone is enough to make you drool. It doesn’t help when my stomach is beating like a giant gong.

Since this is a stylish hotel, the way they serve the dishes are also stylish. When I was younger I have this evil thought. I would always fantasized of putting my legs on some conceal position so that I can trip one of the waiters who are serving the food. Don’t stone me for saying this ok? Just a mischievous thought from a mischievous ex kid.

Poor lobsters had to be beheaded for our dinner and there were 30 of them. It is such a sham that people who kill lobster do not get prosecuted under Animal Cruelty act. But who cares? They ended up in my stomach anyway.

How sweet. Not only we are having family reunion, the lobster and its little cousin prawnies are having a little reunion of its own too. There is no other better family way to get skin together with their cousins.

What’s even better, the prawnies ensured itself tasting good enough before allowing us to chew them into million of pieces.

Next, we have suckling roast pig. I am sure they are meant for chinese suckers like us because we happen to just suck every living organism that is edible from this earth. I noticed one thing about pork dishes I ate in Singapore. I can get them mostly in large pieces. Not only hotels, even pork at the food court I ate was pretty large. They cost me only 2 bucks. Harga babi in Malaysia sudah naik dan susut in size again.

Then we have this controversial dish where conservationist has been complaining about. Its fin consumption. I know its bad for the environment, but I can’t just go up to the bride and say, “i am going to boycott you! And this dish too!”. I think it’s not real by the way.

These are scallops with asparagus. It’s been ages since I had them. Based on the menu, they are made of X.O sauce. I wonder what the hell is X.O sauce. Were the scallops got stoned with alcohol before ending up on our sacrificial dinner altar? Pardon my ignorance because I only know how to eat. Maybe food experts can explain this to me.

Gamat @ Sea cucumber often made its regular appearance in Chinese wedding cuisine. My dear mushrooms got stabbed by the piercing toothpicks. I enjoyed the mushrooms more than anything else.

Sitting together at the same table with women and few seniors is definitely good for my stomach because they don’t eat much. I had to finish most of the leftovers. Heh, speaking about over indulgence.

Oh man, this got to be the best dish of the night but the people who sat in the same table with me hardly touch them. I think by this point, they are already full because the food just came in droves. Great garoupa and it taste heavenly. But I bet the price tag sounds pretty hellish for some pockets though.

I heard from my family that it cost more than S$1k for each table. I guess that’s the standard price for hotels in Orchard. There were more food actually but I did not have the time to photograph every dishes because I was busy capturing some of the shouting moments earlier on.

Technorati Tags: Orchard Parade, food, Singapore, sea food, wedding dinner, bride, aunt

Finally, the day of the reckoning has arrived. Nah, I am not talking about Armageddon day. I am talking about the wedding dinner. This is the reason why I went to Singapore in the first place. At the mean time, I am also enjoying the ‘beautiful’ sceneries in women from this tiny island has to offer. The wedding dinner took place in Orchard Parade Hotel.

My friend asked how many stars this hotel might be. Well I couldn’t see any stars hovering on top of this hotel because it’s raining and I was looking for a damn shelter otherwise I am going to be all drench wet. I wouldn’t want to reach climax before reaching my destination ok? Anyway I was just kidding about the stars earlier on. I don’t give two hoots about the stars as long the hotel is nice.

The hotel is nice alright. So nice it was hard for me to find a freaking entrance. Did I mentioned it was raining pretty heavily? Since it was raining, I have to forget my wishes in photographing the outside part of this hotel. Right after we FINALLY find our way into this hotel, I immediately felt comfy with the sight of this corridor.

Not talking about the woman on the left, damn it. When I say corridor, I mean corridor. I breathed a sigh of relief because I finally found a CHAIR. Yes, I was torturing my legs earlier on for few hours walking and battling the rain and all I need is a chair or a sofa or whatever as long it is something I can place my ass on top of it.

As usual my camera is attracted to these shiny looking things. When I look up to the protected sky on top of the transparent ceiling, and I told them this:- “you can’t get me now, you evil rain!”. Talking to them is fun because they won’t talk back against you. Hmmm they do, Thor can still shoot the living crap out of you with his lightnings.

Putting lame jokes aside, the interior design of this hotel is quite nice. I saw few ahpeks checking in with their “granddaughters” though. Now, that’s even nicer. The granddaughters must be very open minded because they allow their ‘grandfathers’ to touch them like their grandmothers when they were young.

The ‘grandfathers’ really have good taste in choosing this hotel because normally they prefer their operation to be conducted in K.I.S.S manner. Keep It Short and Simple. Not Short and Stupid. When jumping in excitement, I personally don’t think he can keep it short though. Due to safety and legal reasons I am not going to post the pictures here. See no evil, do no evil lah.

I made my way to the upper floor of this hotel. During my 5 days stay in Singapore, I notice one thing about their lifts. I don’t see “ground” floor in their lift buttons. Fortunately one Singaporean told me Ground floor is 1st floor while I was searching like an idiot for that G button. Button, not G spot.

The carpet of this floor is so comfy I can literally sleep flat out.

Andrew got so excited posing with bushes and many balls in his life despite having a pair of his own.

As usual, I was also trapped in these balls and bushes frenzy. For some reason I like this shot. Not because I literally got myself stuck in this ball. It is a place that Jonathan would really like to see.

I thought I could immediately enter the mini ballroom but the guests are told to wait. Even the glasses are waiting to be drench with an overflowing amount of champagne.

Since we still have to wait, I took some time in browsing through Aunt Yvonne’s photo album. Aunt Yvonne look youthful despite her age and not to mentioned she is also hot. Any one wanna guess her age? Take a wild guess.

This is also one of the reasons why people do not seem to believe my real age. I often had to convinced them with my IC.

When I look at my Aunt, I realized something. We all ame from the same core factory so I guess I also inherited my ancestors’ youthful genes. Minus the handsome and pretty genes, I don’t have that. Anyway, since we were asked to wait, I will continue to write about this wedding ceremony in the next post.

Technorati Tags: wedding, hotels, dinner, sight seeing, grandfathers

Did you often check your travel insurance before going off for a trip? I don’t think many people pay too much attention on this aspect because they often overlook the importance of having proper travel insurance policy. Well, things can become unpredictable so having a proper travel insurance could at least give you some peace when you are traveling overseas. Don’t be lazy, remember to check if you have a good travel insurance otherwise you can just apply from the website I include above.

I did not use a proper luggage bag when I went to Singapore last month. I was still using my old faithful knapsack. But next time when i am going to travel to overseas, I can’t use knapsack all the time because I need a proper luggage bag to cater my stuffs. So my ultimate goal is finding a nice and reliable luggage. Coincidentally, Samsonite has all the features I mentioned above.